Never Surrender

The story of a suffragette.

We weave our way through the crowds, discreetly dropping badges and sashes into people’s coat pockets.

This was our purpose for today, quietly spread the word before returning to our usual tactics. In the beginning it had all been rather fashionable; purple, white and green had become so popular thanks to us, you couldn’t walk down the street without seeing someone wearing the colours. It began, of course, when Christabel and Annie had interrupted speakers in Parliament, what a riot that caused! We gained much support and publicity after that, many were not open with their support, preferring to fund us on the sly but there were many who were proud to support our movement. Shops began selling clothes with our colours on, there was even jewellery! And then the Pank-a-Squith game, I had played it a few times myself, it was good fun.

It all changed after that, Asquith had forced our hand. Virtually promising, and then refusing, us the right to vote had angered everyone; Emmeline had decided we needed to make more of a statement. We’d practically become militant. Many of us chained ourselves to the railing outside Downing Street, we held speeches in the streets. I'd been imprisoned repeatedly for these offences but that didn’t stop us. We’d set fire to post boxes, smashed windows, I even set off a bomb just last month. It’s all very exhilarating.

But today we'd been told to hold off on the scare tactics and act like the polite ladies that we are. I could see why, many of us, myself included, had just been released from prison on account of our failing health. The government has just passed their blasted Act, meaning our hunger strikes are legal and allowing them to starve us. Being force-fed had given the public an unfavourable impression of the government; we may have been prisoners but we are still educated women. The Act meant that we would be allowed to hunger strike until the brink of death and then they would release us, only to lock us back up when we’d recovered.

Looking around, I could see several of my fellow ladies, all looking as I imagine I do. Despite it being June, and therefore rather warm, we are all dressed in several winter layers. I clutch my shawl about me as another chill swept through my body, unable to keep warm at all. I'd gone on another hunger strike, only three weeks after my last one, leaving me thinner than ever. I don’t know if I'll survive the next one, if they deem me healthy enough to go to prison. I'd insisted on coming today, as had many others to show that they couldn’t beat us. I may barely be able to walk but I wasn’t about to let Asquith think he'd succeeded with his little game of cat and mouse.

The race hasn't begun yet so I have plenty of time to continue on my mission. I make my way over to where a large group of people are placing bets. This would be a prime opportunity to slip more people badges. I glance around and notice Emily, she's stood on the other side of the crowd, looking even thinner than me. I can tell she's had the same idea as me so we work our way through systematically, slyly signalling to each other every so often. There was a rumour about Emily, that she'd carried out the attack on Llyod-George's house a few months back, but no one had confirmed it. I'll have to ask her later.

I can see the horses being led to the area around the starting line, the race must be starting soon. I can hear many people placing last minute bets although I don’t recognise many of the names of the horses, I’d never really invested much into learning about the various horse races. The only one I knew for definite was the King's horse, Anmer, which seemed to gather quite a few bets which may have been due to the fact that the King is attending the race.

Slowly, I head back over to where our group will watch the race from. I'm almost knocked off my feet more than a few times by overly intoxicated men, it doesn’t help that I am little more than skin and bones at this point, I was only released from prison two days ago. I have learned from watching the others who have been on hunger strikes what the limits are for someone who is as frail as I am at this moment in time. Every day I count myself lucky that I was not one of the ones who was force fed through a tube. Many of those brave ladies died soon after from infections because of the tube. I'd been told many horror stories about what being force fed as like; Sylvia had been held down by five people whilst a tube was forced down her throat, causing her to bleed horrifically, and poor Frances, well what happened to her was better left unsaid.

As I got to our group, I'm grateful that someone found somewhere for us to sit. I don’t think I can stand much longer. I'm glad I joined our cause but it will take me some time to recover from my latest hunger strike. Looking around me, I feel proud of how far we've come. So many young women, dresses and parasols donned with sashes and ribbons, it was a sight to behold. Even now, I can see the people we'd only just planted sashes on tying them around their waists or pinning the buttons to their chests. Even though our tactics had escalated, losing us quite a lot of support, enough people still supported us to make a difference. It's wonderful to behold.

Emmeline moves to stand in front of us. I love her speeches, they're so inspiring, it’s why I joined in the first place.

“Ladies, I want to thank you for being here. I know it’s not easy, that's why we're staying discreet today, we can't have you all going back to Holloway so soon"

I'm slightly surprised, usually Emmeline, and sometimes Christabel would give us what could be called motivational speeches, this was somewhat new though. Before she could continue, I head a muffled voice,

"I need to go."

I looked to the direction of the voice; Emily had just stood abruptly and walked off quickly. I glance quickly at Emmeline and the others but none of them seem to know where she's going. I hurry after her, Emily is a good friend, I don't want her to get into any kind of trouble. She's heading towards the racetrack, although the race hasn’t started yet. I don’t understand what she's doing. I see a young girl grab Emily and say something to her, but I'm too far away to hear what. Emily pulls her arm away, leaving the other girl to run after her. Clearly this girl knows what she's going to do.

I try to move quicker, but people are pressing against me from all sides; the race is about to start so everyone is moving forward. I have to be careful, if I get knocked over I could very well die.

"Emily!"

I try to shout to get her attention but she is too far away to hear me. The girl she was talking to turned around, she had heard me. She begins to call Emily's name too. People begin to shove me as we get closer to the track. I can see now that Emily is heading to Tattenham Corner, it's apparently the best place to watch the race from, the horses round the corner to the final straight. I still don’t understand what Emily is doing, she's never shown much interest in the races before. I try to ignore it, but I can't help but think she is going to do something reckless. Much of the organisation dislikes her because of her previous actions, she once even hid in overnight in the Palace of Westminster. She also tried to matyr herself a few years ago at Holloway by throwing herself from a balcony, she hasn’t been the same since.

As I near the back of the crowd surrounding the Corner, I hear the race begin as Emily pushes through to the barrier. I can see through the gaps in the crowd as she pulls out two sashes from her jacket and with sudden clarity I know what she's going to do. I start to run, desperately pushing through the crowd to get to her I time,

"Emily! Stop!"

She doesn’t hear me, but the girl does, her head turned slightly to look for me but without looking away from Emily. As I get closer I hear what the girl is saying,

"Emily, you can't do this, please!"

I know Emily has seen me now, and with one last smile she looks at me, before turning to the girl and saying

"Never surrender, never give up the fight."

She walks onto the track.